Right or wrong, it is the way it was. It can begin, as it did with me, even before high school when little boys were curious about little girls. Even then they were stronger and could easily over power a reluctant girl.
It became more prevalent as both boys and girls were maturing and hormones raged. Boys sought to get a "feel" of an often reluctant girl. As time passed girls began to get a voice and the ability to resist. If they wanted. If not, well, that's another story. College years weren't very different than high school though it may have gone further than a feel. During this period the young men and women were of nearly the same ages. Unless a male professor was involved.
Out in the real world, however, things changed. That's when it quit being a growing experience each young woman managed in her own way and turned into unwanted groping and harassment by men of an age to know it was wrong. Men who were in positions of power over young women who had so much to lose by resisting. So they lived with the humiliation.
All along the way, women always had to face the fear factor. Fear of being tormented verbally by their peer group or told they had brought it on themselves by adults who should have known better. Fear that they may be physically harmed if they resisted.
I'm not suggesting this was the norm by any means, but such behavior did occur with a degree of frequency. Somewhere along the way parents were not teaching their sons how to respect women and the treatment that went along with the respect.
When you ask today why women didn't speak out 20 or 30 years ago it's because they were too often demeaned if even believed. Today they speak out because they have a sisterhood of those with like experiences to back them.
All of a sudden those incidences of wandering hands, suggestive comments and outright threats are being brought to light. As I listen to the men fumble for excuses and make half hearted apologies I know it's because they've been outed; not because they feel any sense of shame or remorse.
It has become epidemic. In the forefront it seems to have been athletes criticized for spousal or significant other abuse then let off because of who they were. There has always been the good old boy club whether it be the athletes, corporate bigwigs or Hollywood. Ah, yes, the casting couch.
I wonder if every man in a powerful position had to step aside if allegations were brought against him there would be many left in those positions.
The tables have turned now. Once upon a time a President got a pass for known misbehavior. Many have been known to have mistresses, ours today remains under the shadow of his own bragging. What manner of man behaves in such a manner and preaches about our "values" at the same time?
Well, we're finding out aren't we. The behavior is pervasive - from sports to academia to business to politics. And it is truly non-partisan.
So you women who may still be reluctant ~ speak out. Cultures can be changed and this one needs to be. This is the time ~ seize it. This is the time. Powerful women have your back.
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