Thursday, June 09, 2011

Political Wives

This whole Weiner affair has prompted me to think once again about the wives of such men.  Ole Anthony bit off quite a bit considering his wife, pregnant and supportive, is a close and long time associate of Hillary Clinton.  I imagine he is dreading the next time he has to meet Hillary face to face!  I remember how she was after the Lewinsky episode hit the news.  Frosty would be a polite description.

On the other hand, considering she is still Mrs. Clinton, emphasis on the Clinton, may mean that the biggest talking to went to Huma Abedin, his wife.  Remember Hillary's famous statement when Bill was running for office?  "I'm not sitting here, some little woman standing by her man.  I'm sitting here because I love him and respect him."  Well, there is sometimes no understanding the personal dynamics between a husband and wife.

Political wives are an interesting breed.  We've seen them standing by their men, tears in their eyes, while the men confessed to the most hurtful indiscretions a marriage be asked to withstand. It interests me that most stay.  In reality, I think, they are enablers.  Elizabeth Edwards was.  She knew of John's affair yet still campaigned vigorously for his presidential bid.

Hillary was the biggest enabler of all.  No matter what Bill did, she stood right by him, no matter what she said.  I wonder about calling it love.

Isn't love and marriage about trust and fidelity rather than betrayal and hurt?  I don't understand their concept of hurt.  Or are they as addicted to the perks of their husbands positions as their husbands are?  The hurt is placed on the back burner.  I imagine it like my back pain.  Bearable yet always there.

I can imagine Hillary counseling Mrs. Weiner on that basis.  Can she twist love into an acceptance of his behavior?  Does she respect his political skills and what she gains from them?

It's a level of relationship I don't pretend to understand.   Hub and I've always thought the strength of our relationship has been our ability to survive with just the two of us in the household.  No kids, no kids activities through the years to hide behind during rough patches.  Just each other.  Angry.  Sad.  Not on the same page.  It was all there.  Under one roof, between the two of us.

What made it work was, yes, the respect.  The idea that we both had our areas in which we excelled and we celebrate that for and with each other.  That's the key maybe.  For and with each other, to the extent we'd never purposely do anything to hurt the other.  That's the kind of love I know.  Not the power or position or perks.  They fade in time.  The limelight dims.

You age.  It is a bittersweet time that should be enjoyed for having lived your life together well.  The ending of that time begins to become palpable. I'm not sure I could live it harboring the hurt so many political wives do. I wonder if their glory days will be worth it.


Margie's Musings said...

Sometimes, when you truly love someone, forgiveness is the only way to go.

Sometimes forgiveness is appreciated so much by the offender that the marriage becomes even stronger.

Space Lady said...

Your example of political figures, who have been unfaithful, is somewhat out of balance. There are a number of prominent Conservatives, who have been unfaithful.

Dogwalk said...

Space Lady,

Those names came to mind as I was writing with no thought as to party affiliation. Does everything have to be broken down to that extent?

Word Tosser said...

"I'm not sitting here, some little woman standing by her man. Hilary's remark during campaign.. didn't the studio light fall down just behind the couch right after she said that? lol..

I read an article many years ago, about the Clinton's and how they met in college and they became fast friends because of their interest in politics. And how their marriage wasn't so much about love of each other, but the partnership of the plan. The plan that he would some day run for President, and then she would wait 8 years and then she would run, as they figured by that time, it would be time for women to win. And it sure looks like they were following that plan all the way thru. And when she was so upset, over Bill's cheating which she knew about for years.. she was upset because that would have knocked her out of the plan at that time.
I don't know if it is true or not..but it sure looks like it went that way. All though, I thought she would have gotten the underdog vote, had she divorced him after he got out of office. Or maybe she figure the people wouldn't vote for a divorcee?