From The Sublime To The Ridiculous

There's something missing in the evolution of Barbie it would seem.  There is a wonderfully nonsensical debate going on as to whether or not there should be a plus size Barbie.

The purists say absolutely not.  I must agree to the extent that Barbie is an iconic figure in the world of children's make believe and should be left as such.

On the other hand, an argument is being made that the perfectly proportioned, coiffed and dressed Barbie is representative of all things evil in this world.  A perfectly proportioned, coiffed and dressed doll.

I wish I had some young girls around to grill.  Even if I did, however, I think they'd wonder what the heck I was talking about.  Their mothers might be another story.  After all, they are the ones who don't match up to that image of perfection so why should a doll have it to give their kids a false sense of what's really important.

Well, like what?  Character?  The intelligence to differentiate between a toy and reality? Who knows. I was beyond dolls when the Barbie trend hit but couldn't help but know of her existence and her multitude of incarnations.  None of which most little girls nor their mothers will ever achieve.  Isn't that at least part of the point?  It's play time.  Fantasy.  Imagination. Glamor.

If the Pro Pluses win, however, they really shouldn't morph her so drastically all at one time.  After all, we women don't go from point A to point Z over night.  At least I didn't.  It was a more gradual, sneaky occurrence.  Even at my worst, though, before tipping over into the official category of elderly  did I ever look quite like the proposed Barbie Plus.  I didn't have nearly as many chins and my thighs were thinner.  I also wouldn't have been caught dead dressed as my younger, more svelte counterpart.  Some things are best left alone.  Just check your mirror.

Then too, we elderly shouldn't be left out.  Gray her hair, add a few crows feet around the eyes and lighten up on the make up.  Those high heels would kill us, so lower them along with the hem line.  The inevitable varicose veins should be covered, probably best with support hose.

One thing you could add to Barbie and Barbie Plus that would probably not be out of step with the times.  Tattoos and piercings.  Other than the fact my parents would have killed me if I had gone that route, I'm glad I've passed the age of temptation.  I've enough sagging and drooping and patches of various colors without tattoos and various pieces of metal inserted through my paper thin skin adding to the problem.

Actually the Elderly Barbie might be the best of the lot.  Think about going from sex pot to the paragon of excess to the dignity of old age.  Of course we came first.  Perhaps that's why we'd be the best of the lot!