Who Death Selects

I sit here, the day before my birthday, and wonder why I will be celebrating it and so many people far more accomplished than I wont' be around for their next one.

It has been a tough week for the well known beginning with the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain followed by the announcement from Charles Krauthammer that he has but weeks, if that, to live.

The causes are different.  Suicide for Spade and Bourdain.  It is heart wrenching wondering what demons within drove them to it.  What angst is going on inside a person's head that would lead them to such a horrendous finality?  More than that, why don't they reach out for help?  Why do they suffer in silence?

After the fact there are always indications to be considered but it's too late. In so many cases it's a waste of a valuable and productive life.  Of course all lives are valuable, each in their own way, but some are more exceptional than others. It's especially puzzling to me now when so much is being said about suicide prevention.  Maybe we just aren't looking far enough.  Maybe we're looking too much for those who appear troubled and not enough at the potential in all of us.  I don't know.

Then there is Charles Krauthammer who has lived an exemplary life while over coming extreme adversity as a young man.  He is bright, oh so bright, and compelling to listen to.  I don't always agree with him but more often than not I do.  It pains me that such a man is about to leave us because of that godawful cancer.  Again, why a man like him?  A man who contributes so much good.  There are so many who contribute nothing more than self-serving chaos yet they seem to go merrily on forever with nothing consequential happening to them until a more normal lifespan has run its course.

Is it the times?  Are we too stressed out that something snaps and we don't even know it?  That seems too simplistic to me, but again, I don't know.  I've thought about what would drive me to end my own life prematurely.  Even with dread disease, I'm not sure I could tie the knot, pull the trigger or even take the pill. Maybe one day I'll find out.  Maybe not.

All I do know is it has been a dreadful week.