Who Death Selects

I sit here, the day before my birthday, and wonder why I will be celebrating it and so many people far more accomplished than I wont' be around for their next one.

It has been a tough week for the well known beginning with the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain followed by the announcement from Charles Krauthammer that he has but weeks, if that, to live.

The causes are different.  Suicide for Spade and Bourdain.  It is heart wrenching wondering what demons within drove them to it.  What angst is going on inside a person's head that would lead them to such a horrendous finality?  More than that, why don't they reach out for help?  Why do they suffer in silence?

After the fact there are always indications to be considered but it's too late. In so many cases it's a waste of a valuable and productive life.  Of course all lives are valuable, each in their own way, but some are more exceptional than others. It's especially puzzling to me now when so much is being said about suicide prevention.  Maybe we just aren't looking far enough.  Maybe we're looking too much for those who appear troubled and not enough at the potential in all of us.  I don't know.

Then there is Charles Krauthammer who has lived an exemplary life while over coming extreme adversity as a young man.  He is bright, oh so bright, and compelling to listen to.  I don't always agree with him but more often than not I do.  It pains me that such a man is about to leave us because of that godawful cancer.  Again, why a man like him?  A man who contributes so much good.  There are so many who contribute nothing more than self-serving chaos yet they seem to go merrily on forever with nothing consequential happening to them until a more normal lifespan has run its course.

Is it the times?  Are we too stressed out that something snaps and we don't even know it?  That seems too simplistic to me, but again, I don't know.  I've thought about what would drive me to end my own life prematurely.  Even with dread disease, I'm not sure I could tie the knot, pull the trigger or even take the pill. Maybe one day I'll find out.  Maybe not.

All I do know is it has been a dreadful week.

A Most Personal and Heartfelt Thanksgiving Message

Last year at this time I was anxiously awaiting Hub's recovery after having  had a baseball sized tumor removed from his colon. I didn't think Thanksgiving could be any worse.  But things have a way of proving me wrong.

Last night I had a phone message from my niece asking me to call asap.  She had terrible news.  Her Mom or Dad?  Both our age and it wouldn't surprise me.  One of their daughters?  Oh, please, no. But no.  The worst possible news one could ever get.  Her husband had committed suicide that morning.

I was beyond words.  I still am.  It came out of the blue.  No one expected anything. Yet he hanged himself in the woods near their home.  Why? For the love of God, why?  He leaves his wife and two daughters and a multitude of family and friends who loved him.

We are all in a state of shock.  It's surreal.  Answers no doubt will come once the shock wears off and the necessary business begins but it will forever alter Thanksgiving for his family.

I guess my point is you just never know when  tragedy will strike.  It pays no attention to things like holidays and family get togethers and what should be times of joy and celebration. It has a mind of its own.

I'm thankful Hub came home last Thanksgiving day and we've had a wonderful year since for which I am  greatly thankful.  It is, however, overshadowed by the grief, disbelief and even anger of a young widow who I happen to love very much.

So when you think of Thanksgiving, be thankful for all you have and mean it.  You never know when in an instant it can all be gone. In this case death took a holiday; it took a holiday away forever.  The finality of it is devastating and unnerving yet oh so real.

Life is  precious yet vulnerable to forces we don't necessarily comprehend. The end of that precious life is part of the cycle, expected in time and of course final.  It's difficult for those left behind. But to have a loved one driven to it prematurely is a tragedy beyond words.