Parenting In Today's World

 I have two passions that consume my time in these, my latter years.  One is writing my 'Slobbers' books. The second is keeping track of our yard's resident Great Horned Owls.

In the late winter, and early spring they make themselves known because they get very vocal during mating season. It has always been interesting to me that the male has a low-pitched hoot, which I would expect. The female, a somewhat higher pitch. Yet size wise, the male is smaller than the female. How they do court one another!

Getting to see them is difficult at best because of their nocturnal habits though at times they will spend a day in a leafless tree.  Some years they tolerate me with my ever-ready camera, other times they take off as soon as I appear. This year they have been a bit spooky until just lately. For the past several weeks the male has been perching on several snags, tree limbs, and even our pergola which is quite close to the house. If I'm careful, I get wonderful photos.

That aside, Dad is perching away from the nest because Mom is tending the eggs and now the hatchlings. I am over the moon that I located them this morning and will be keeping track of what looks to be three as they learn about life beyond the nest.

Now that they have hatched, Mom and Dad will take turns tending them so the other can rest. After the eggs are laid, Dad takes over the stockpiling of food at night while Mom guards the eggs. They both have tremendous responsibilities and they do what needs to be done to see that those responsibilities are carried out. From now until it's time to send the kids off on their own, which will be at summer's end, both parents will be hovering around their offspring, feeding them, teaching them to fly and to hunt. It's called parenting. It is wonderful to watch.

It's interesting to me that animals, be they birds or mammals, take on the challenge of what comes naturally to them, having kids and raising them.  They don't complain.  They don't run away from it. They just do what needs to be done.  It comes naturally to them.

It seems to me a lot of my fellow humans could take some parenting lessons from our 'less intelligent' neighbors.

Could This Soon Be a City Near You?

 Yesterday's news video of the debacle in Kabul brought back so many memories from a similar situation in Vietnam, oh so long ago. Americans literally turning their tails and running.  For their lives. 

It isn't the fault of the thousands of Americans working in Afghanistan, nor the military who kept the Taliban at bay nor the rank and file of the Afghanis themselves.  It is the fault of self-serving, naive and perhaps even stupid leadership - people we've put in power to lead us.  It turns my stomach.

What makes it even worse is those among us who bow to their dictates because we are too lazy to dig beneath the surface to find truth. I think of the children of Afghanistan - both boys, who are subjected to a demented form of homosexuality, and girls who are sometimes not even in their teens spirited off to be the "wife" of some warrior. And more girls and women who are going to lose their opportunities for an education that can so vastly improve their lives.

Well, you might say, that's far away and it doesn't really affect us.  Doesn't it? The illustration above could soon be Chicago or Portland or Seattle or New York if we don't soon get a handle on our own country.

I see hope, I hear people speaking who are angry.  Really angry about what's happening be it CRT or mask mandates or defunding the police. The one thing that's lacking, however, is a lack of cohesiveness.  Someone who is willing to pick up the reins and get a movement organized.  A Tea Party movement without the capitulation to the Republican Party who are just as complicit in our current mess as the Democrats.

The ones I envision pulling it together are parents, no matter their politics. For those who are suffering the most are the children and don't get between a child and its parent. Mother or Father. Kids have lost far too much in the way of schooling during the lockdowns which have proven to be ineffectual at best. This applies to kids up to and including college.  They're not getting the education we expect them to get nor the one they deserve.

A lot of atonement needs to take place. First with our feckless politicians, then to those who have hijacked higher education, to the teachers union and school boards to health care officials who have suddenly turned into petty dictators.

They say they are following the science. How can the science be so different in so many places if that's true? Truth.  That's all we ask. Is that too much?  Apparently so.

What Day Is It?

 Not much has changed since last I wrote a post.  The smoke still hangs in the air irritating throats, eyes and humor.  The heat still soars into the high 90s to low 100s on a daily basis. Tempers are short.

This seems to be  the perfect storm of things gone wrong. Days run together to the point I have to ask myself what day it is or sneak a peak if I happen to be reading the paper. 

I have lived through a lot during my many years on this earth but I cannot, ever, remember when people have been so self serving, identities so run amok and common sense a relic of the dark ages. What has happened to us as a race?

I can't judge what is happening in other countries because my information is scant and most likely skewed, but I can judge what's going on in this country. It makes me sad and angry at the same time.  People who are in my age group are some of the worst offenders and those are the ones I'm most angry with.  They know better, but somewhere along the way the power they lust for, and in too many cases, have, just isn't enough.  Why is that?  Like me, many are in what will probably be the last, or nearly the last, decade of their lives.  They have every material thing they could possibly want and they have their power. Do they not realize they are going to be reviled after they are gone just as much as they are today? Do they not realize memories of them are going to fade and at some point in time they will be known as another dead white or black or brown person who were a flash in the pan in the grand scheme of things? Will history judge them well?  I doubt it.

I don't understand egos like that. I don't understand how the here and now and their power to mold it doesn't bring out the best in them instead of the worst.

An aside here about why I began writing children's books in my late 70s. I wanted to chronicle what life was like when I grew up.  A time when parents and teachers were on the same wave length, when kids understood the value of authority and the meaning of respect.  When boys were boys and girls were girls. When kids were allowed to run free because their parents trusted them.  I purposely used a big, lovable St. Bernard as my protagonist because I didn't want to preach to them.  I wanted them to see life as a wild and wonderful romp, an adventure to be explored and celebrated.

Now too many parents are cowed by those who speak louder.  Shame on them. What ever happened to moral courage.  Why do we allow ourselves to be dictated to by people who can't get their eyes off their phones or computer screens? Why are we so afraid of being criticized by name callers who often don't even have the courage to use their own! How can those of you who succumb  look at your own reflection in a mirror without feeling some degree of revulsion?

What day is it? I do know it's not the day in which I grew up. It pains me to think this may be the new normal for the children of today and tomorrow. We should all be ashamed for we all share in the blame.

Bullying = Gun Volence? No! Try Lack of Parent/Teacher Cooperation

Anyone who thinks this anti-gun movement is anything other than politically driven has been brainwashed into believing.

Go back a step to bullying being the cause of a lot of gun violence. Of course so does the lack of a father figure, a broken home, kids making fun of you or so perceived and being forced to eat oatmeal for breakfast.

Go back another step to what leads to bullying.  It has been around as long as I can remember.  Kids can be incredibly cruel to one another.  I experienced my share of it from older girls on my street. And I'm ashamed I dished out my own fair share. I have never been able to pin point why I have that particular flaw.

That being said, it was considered misbehaving.  When found out I was duely punished and believe me, my parents had a way of finding out.  When I was on the receiving end I talked with my Mom.  She always made me feel better about myself.  It does drain your confidence and hurts terribly.  She told me to just stay away from them.  In time I was able to do just that - with her support and encouragement.  She knew it wasn't easy for me. But she was always there for me.

On into school there were the usual cliques.  Mine was the band kids - most of us were nerdy at the time but we stuck together and did our thing.  Made music. Frankly, most of those oh so popular kids were popular for a reason.  Of course they were pretty or cheer leaders or football players but they were mostly pretty nice kids and they too had parents who cared.

There was, too, always the loner. They were strange to the rest of us and caused the teachers consternation. I never remember them being violent or unusually angry.  Just sullen.  But they coped and so did the rest of us.

The foundation for the majority of my high school acquaintances was sound parenting reinforced by teachers more than willing to work with both parent and student.  That's what the PTA  (Parent Teachers Association) was all about.  Do they still have them today?

I'm thinking if more emphasis was put on cooperation between teachers and parents in identifying problems and finding solutions for them, kids would be better served than after the fact prayer vigils and protests.

Nope.  Kids just aren't given the basics for coping.  Safe spaces, running to authority figures when someone looks at them funny or makes a snide remark doesn't cut it. A restructuring or elimination of time on social media would certainly help but again, that involves parenting and cooperation with teachers.

Don't have time to parent?  Don't have kids.  Don't know how?  Common sense is a good place to start.  My Mom didn't have a study guide either yet she and my Dad did a pretty darn good job.  They were both there for me, gave me a fair shot at an explanation for wrong doing while also listening to a teacher or another parent.

Isn't this the crux of it?  Back to the basics?  Guns are a last ditch cry of anguish, not the cause of it

Parenting Counts

This morning I was reading about the phenomenal success of the Washington Redskins rookie quarterback, Robert Griffin III. For a 22 year old, it read, he shows a surprising maturity that enhances an enormous talent.  Indeed.

It occurred to me if we as a people would get back to the basics, the country may yet rebound. The basics being parenting. Mr. Griffin was an army brat, if you will, hailing from a two parent family.  Both were Army sergeants and his upbringing was a reflection of their Army discipline.  I don't mean in the way of punishment, but in the pursuit of excellence.

Young Mr. Griffin went on to attend Baylor University graduating with a BA in political science with a 3.67 grade point before embarking on a Master's program in communications.  That he won the Heisman Trophy and went on to NFL success is in many ways beside the point.  I believe he would succeed at anything.

That brings me to the story of a group of young men from the San Diego area known as the Burrito Boys.  They are 13 and 14 year old friends who have made quite a name for themselves for delivering burritos to the homeless every Sunday morning for the past couple of years.

It isn't an idea the boys came up with themselves, but the result of an over the top Christmas wish list that included iPods, the latest in cell phones and so forth.  Nothing unusual for youngsters of that age this day and age.

The parents said whoa!  It's time for a life lesson here. Greed isn't good! So the parents whipped up a batch of breakfast burritos, gathered the boys and headed for the homeless. The venture has evolved from two to seven boys along with the support of their parents, business people and a full fledged non-profit.  The bounty for the homeless has grown from burritos to include everything from books to clothing to tarps and even treats for the dogs. One 14 year old vows they will continue the effort for as long as they are able.

Both are feel good stories.  Both showcase the exceptionalism that can exist among our youth.  Both are because the parents took their responsibilities seriously.  They parented.

The stories may belong to the boys but the credit belongs to the parents.  May there be multitudes of them among us.